Scripture: Matthew 5:43-48 - “43 You have heard people say, “Love your
neighbors and hate your enemies.” 44 But I tell you to love your enemies and pray for
anyone who mistreats you. 45 Then
you will be acting like your Father in heaven. He makes the sun rise on both
good and bad people. And he sends rain for the ones who do right and for the
ones who do wrong. 46 If
you love only those people who love you, will God reward you for that? Even tax
collectors love their friends. 47 If you greet only your friends, what’s so great
about that? Don’t even unbelievers do that? 48 But you must always act like your Father in heaven”
(www.biblegateway.com).
When we withdraw from someone who has done us wrong
(or so we think), we are NOT
allowing the love of God to flow through us; this hinders God’s love from
flowing from our hearts to theirs!! Sometimes the only God people may see is in
you and we MUST let our light shine
to men so they can see the Jesus in us; we are the light of the world (Matt 5:14). We CANNOT allow our OLD
selfish, sinful nature to control us; we USE
to act like that when someone hurt us!! The main thing, we are NOT adhering to do what the Word of God
says concerning our enemies in Matthew 5:43-48 (above)! We
must forgive others unconditionally as God forgives us; God throws our sins in
the sea of forgetfulness – NEVER to
remember them again – this is what Micah 7:18-19 says about our God:
“18 Who
is a God like You, Who forgives iniquity and passes over the transgression of
the remnant of His heritage? He retains not His anger forever, because He
delights in mercy and loving-kindness.
19 He will again have compassion on us; He will subdue and
tread underfoot our iniquities. You will cast all our sins into the
depths of the sea” (biblegateway.com – AMP –Amplified Bible).
When we REALLY
forgive someone, we do not bring it up to them over and over and over; we don’t
say “I will forgive you, BUT I will
not forget it!!” That is NOT
forgiveness; you are still angry and bitter at the person and are preventing
God’s love from flowing through you to him/her!! You have not really decided to
forgive the person; you want to hold on to the offense but when you hold on to
the offense you are also holding on to the pain/hurt!! In order for the hurt to
leave, the offense has to leave and in order for the offense to leave, you MUST forgive from your heart!!
Forgiveness is NOT a feeling but a CHOICE
to OBEY God’s Word! Forgiveness DOES
NOT excuse what the person did or did not do; forgiveness frees you and
brings you out of bondage!! Forgiveness puts people in God’s hands and let Him
deal with them since He is the true and righteous Judge!! Although you might
not “feel” like forgiving the one or
ones who hurt you, do it because Jesus says to do it in Matthew
6:15:
“But if you do not forgive others their trespasses
[their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up
resentment], neither will your Father forgive you your trespasses”
(biblegateway.com – AMP – Amplified Bible.
It is NOT
easy loving your enemies; trust me I know – especially when you have to look at
that person often!! Plus, sometimes what happens is when one person hurts you,
it triggers all the other hurts from your past!! Why? Because since you never
dealt with ALL those other hurts,
you are carrying around a bunch of unnecessary baggage which is silently
destroying your life; those hurts are operating in stealth mode in your life
slowly destroying you – especially destroying your relationships!! That what
the devil does; uses others to offend us (they somehow opens the door to the
enemy) to cause division and discord among the brethren and God hates this!! Proverbs
6:16-19 says:
“16 These
six things the Lord hates, indeed, seven are an abomination to Him:
17 A proud look [the spirit that makes one overestimate
himself and underestimate others], a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent
blood,
18 A heart that manufactures wicked thoughts and
plans, feet that are swift in running to evil,
19 A false witness who breathes out lies [even under oath],
and he who sows discord among his brethren” (biblegateway.com – AMP – Amplified
Bible.
“For we are not wrestling with flesh and blood [contending only with
physical opponents], but against the despotisms, against the powers, against
[the master spirits who are] the world rulers of this present darkness, against
the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) sphere”
(biblegateway.com – AMP – Amplified Bible).
To understand this Scripture, let’s look at the definition of
the word “despotism:” “a rule by a despot” (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/despotism). A “despot” is: “a ruler who has total power and who often
uses that power in cruel and unfair ways; a person who has a lot of power
over other people” (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary).
We MUST,
NO EXCUSES, get rid of OLD hurts because they WILL come back to haunt us if they are
not dealt with – check out the complete Emotional
Healing Series on my web site by clicking here!!! That is why our buttons are so easily
pushed by people because there are some hidden things in us we need to deal
with; once that happens, we will be easily offended!!!
We CANNOT
forgive on our own; what we do is DECIDE
to forgive the person and ask God to help us and He will walk with us until we
can love the person with His love – no matter how long it take!! Again, I know,
God has walked with me through some heartbreaking things when it comes to
forgiving people; and it still not that easy for me and I am not going to lie
and say I got it down – NO I do
not!!
It’s like Paul said, when I want to do good, evil is
right there trying to persuade me not to do good – it is warring in my mind
trying to exalt itself against what the Word of God says (Romans 7: 21-25)!! But I know where
my help comes from and that is the Lord and through Him, because of Him, I can
do ALL things because He gives me
the strength to do it!!!
When those accusing spirits bring the things back to us
that the person has done or is doing, we must remember what 2 Corinthians 10:3-6 says – bring EVERY thought captive to the obedience
of Christ:
3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the
flesh. 4 For
the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God
for pulling down strongholds, 5 casting
down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of
God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, 6 and being ready to punish
all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled (biblegateway.com – NKJV).
Know you are not alone; God will help you and
let you know if you truly have forgiven someone; when you do, you will be able
to be in their presence and have NO
harsh feelings against them or uneasiness in your spirit (feel twinges in your
stomach – if you want to know what it feels like physically) – you will feel
God’s love flowing through you to them!!
We are NOT going to behave like we did in the past when someone offended
us; we will ALLOW the new man, the
regenerated man, which ONLY comes by
accepting Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior, to rise up in us and take
control over the old, sinful nature – we will be led by the Holy Spirit and NOT react out of our soul!! It is NOT worth holding grudges, offenses,
unforgiveness, or any other evil, foul thing from the past that is of the devil
and has NO life in them!! We are NEW creatures in Christ and the OLD has passed away and ALL things are NEW NOW (2
Corinthians 5:17).
We must love our enemies
and do good to the ones who do us evil!! God said vengeance belongs to Him and
He will repay!! We should not try to repay anyone for what they have done to
us; do not render evil for evil but render good for evil!! If your enemies are
hungry, feed them and if they are thirsty, give them something to drink!!
Forgiving others is
importance!! If we do not forgive others, God will NOT forgive us – Jesus said
this in Matthew 6:15:
“But if you do not forgive
others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (biblegateway.com
–NIV).
We MUST NOT allow people to change who we are and start behaving like
them!!! Let’s keep the loving and compassionate heart God has given us and not
allow the devil to whisper things in our ears (remember, accusing spirits – to
find out how they operate, click here) about how someone has hurt us and tell us to tell
them off and get even, etc. – the enemy does not like unity so he will do
everything he can to start and keep confusion and strife among the brethren
going!!
Since thoughts produce
actions, we CANNOT allow accusing
spirits to bring negative thoughts to our minds; this will cause us to react in
a way that is contrary to the Word of God! The enemy is the author and father
of lies and he love to start and keep confusion, so don't give him any place in
your life!! As the Word says, if we submit ourselves to God, we can resist the
devil he will flee (James 4:7) - he cannot stand against the Word of God – James was talking about the “fighting and quarrels” among the
people (Read James
Chapter 4). The devil CANNOT come into our territory and stay
there unless we allow him!! Yes, I know he does not respect boundary but if we
tell him to go, AFTER WE HAVE SUBMITTED
OURSELVES TO GOD, he has to go – the only authority and power the enemy
recognizes is that of the Godhead (God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy
Spirit)! God is NOT a liar and if
the Word says that the enemy will flee, it is so!! Plus, Jesus has given us
power to thread upon serpents and scorpions and over ALL the power of the enemy
and NOTHING shall by ANY means hurt us (Luke 10:19)!!
God loves the one who hurt us just as He loves us and He
will deal with them in His way when He wants to!!! The person may never come
back and ask for forgiveness because if they do not know or think they have
wronged us, they will never ask for forgiveness; but we are to forgive them
anyway!! Sometimes God will tell us to go to them and apologize when they are
the ones who have hurt us; that has happened to me before – more than one time.
The Bible tells us to go to our brother if he
a grievance against us and make peace with them and then come back and present
our gift at the altar (Matthew
5:23-24); some people
might not want to make peace with us so we should ask God what is the best time
to do this – especially if we are dealing with an unreasonable person!! God
will let us know when the right time to approach the person is; sometimes it
might take years before you can go to them. Recently, I got the chance to ask
someone I had hurt over 13 years ago to forgive me; I had been looking for him
since 2009/2010 searching on the internet but just the end of July this year,
God allowed us to connect just for a brief time for me to ask him to forgive me
– that was God!! God knew it was on my hurt and I wanted to ask his forgiveness
and God made it so; he accepted my forgiveness and told me to “live in peace!”
After that, he was gone again; that is how I know it was God!! So if we want to
do right, love people the way God says to love them, regardless of what, God
will help us!!
If you go to apologize and the person does not accept it,
forgive them anyway and move on!! God sits high and He looks low and He sees
everything that people do to us or we do to them!! The Bible also tells us to
follow peace with all men if it is possible; sometimes it is not possible
because the other person is unreasonable! But we must do what is right in the
sight of God and leave the other person to God!!
The Bible lets us know not to fret ourselves
because of evil doers; not that you want anything bad to happen to them but God
is a God of justice and we reap what we sow!! You sow evil you will reap evil
but if you sow good you reap good; contrary to what it may seem like at the
time! Sometimes when we sow good it will seem like we are getting evil in
return; because the person we sow good to has evil in their hearts and they
want to use us!! But all is well because God will take what the devil meant for
evil and turn it around for our good (Genesis
50:20); (John
10:10); Romans
8:28 lets us know that all things work together for good to those who love
God and are called for His purpose!!!
Therefore, we should not become downhearted
or lose hope when we do good to someone from our heart (with the right motive – looking for NOTHING in return) and they
take advantage of us or mistreats us; God sees what we have done - He sees our
heart - we can't expect anything from that person we helped because God will
repay us!!!! We must keep our faith in God!!!
We must keep our eyes on Him!!! We should not
do things for people to get recognition from them; we have our reward if we
do!!!
In our “wisdom” we would think God wants us
to help everybody but that is not always the case; sometimes God wants that
person to lean and depend on Him but we butt in and help them when God did not
tell us to!! Therefore, we must learn to ask God before we help someone;
especially when finances are involved. If we keep bailing someone out, they
will constantly look to us to bail them out – all we are doing is becoming a
crutch for them and helping them NOT
look to God for help!!
We need to acknowledge God in ALL our ways and allow Him to direct
our path; then we will not get hurt for doing for people who use and abuse us!!
If we ask God first, He will reveal the heart
of that person and let us know if we are being played - this goes for helping
family members, friends, church members, whoever!! If we do this, we will save
ourselves a whole lot of pain, suffering, and falling out with people – this
will help keep confusion out of our relationships!!!
I feel led here to stop and say a prayer for
myself and for the ones who has hurt me:
“Father
I forgive and release everyone to You who has hurt me in any way from birth
until now and I ask You to bless them and open the eyes of the ones’ hearts who
need salvation so they can accept Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior.
Forgive them Father for hurting me in whatever way they have caused me harm
(emotionally, physically, psychologically, financially, etc.) and heal me in
every area of my life where I have been damaged by them and remove all scars
and pain from my heart and body, in the Name of Jesus; the Name that is above
every other name and above everything and everybody else, Amen!!!”
I pray the same prayer for each of you; all
who have been used and abused by people - whether intentionally or
unintentionally - the pain is still sever!! I pray that God will give you peace
in the midst of confusion and that He gives you all strength to go through
whatever storm you are going through and prepare you for your next storm!!! Storms
come in each of our lives and as long as we are in this world, they will come!!
But be of good cheer because Jesus has overcome the world and greater is He who
is in us than he that is in this world!! Don't run away from God doing the
storm but run to Him!! Jesus is our shelter in the storm; He will keep us safe
in His arms!!! I command peace to be still in your lives!! Allow God to rule
your heart and mind with the peace Jesus has left for you!! I ask the Father
these things for you in the Name of Jesus, Amen!! Amen!!! It is finished!!!
May the peace of God guard your hearts
and minds ALWAYS!!!
Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks
