"Importance of Forgiveness" Program Agenda – Session 7 Oct 14, 2014
1. Open each
session with prayer; asking God to open your understanding as to the
areas in your life which needs to be healed and give you understanding
of each session. The goal of each session is to help you to heal
everywhere you need to be healed so you can become whole.
2. Discussion (30 min):
“Importance of Forgiveness”- Part II
*Definition of “Self” – Part 3A-1:
Now that we have learned how to forgive others, let’s look at how to
forgive ourselves; we will start with the definition of the word, “self.”
The dictionary defines "self' as "by its self'" “an individual” or
"separate." A self is a separate, unique identity. Each of us is
separately and uniquely different, and we stand alone as individuals. Psalms 139 says that God made each of us "fearfully and wonderfully."
According to the dictionary, the word "self," includes many modifiers:
- Self-abandonment: disregarding all self-interest.
- Self-a basement: humiliation of oneself
- Self-absorbed: focusing on oneself to the exclusion or consideration of others.
- Self-abuse: comes in
many forms, i.e. obesity or anorexia; sleep deprivation or too much
sleep; lack of exercise or pushing oneself to the brink; denial of
normal sexuality with your spouse or preoccupation with sex; calling
yourself “stupid,” “fat,” “ugly,” “dumb or other names that will demean
and degrade yourself [you are “fearfully and wonderfully made” – Ps.
139:14].
- Self-accusation: constantly finding fault with oneself.
When
Satan entered the world through Adam, another nature became added to
our original nature: the sin nature. Self now had a hyphen after it, and
became the target of unloving spirits.
- Self-Hatred (Unloving Spirits) – Part 3A-2:
What is an unloving spirit? It's a spirit that attaches to us and
attacks us, seeking to make us feel self- rejected, unclean and
unworthy. The Unloving Spirit - Kingdom of Self - is the principality of
self-bitterness, and it is protected by strong armor; but the devil and
his demons are not stronger than God – NOTHING AND NOBODY OR NO THING
CAN DEFEAT GOD!! The unloving spirit tells us that we don't measure up,
that we are no good. Unloving spirits make us wretch at the sound of our
own voice or the contents of our words: "everything I say is so
stupid." When we look at ourselves in the mirror, unloving spirits tell
us, "You sure are ugly." As we watch others, we become sure that they
hate our guts, because unloving spirits tell us that we can see it in
their eyes.
- Principality of Self-Bitterness – Part 3B:
It uses weapons of self-pity, self- abuse, self-rejection, self-hatred,
competition, self-pride, self- enthronement, false piety,
self-mutilation, excessive eating and bingeing. It fires
self-comparison, self-idolatry, perfectionism, and self-torment at us.
It pushes us to be defensive, and filled with self-doubt, unbelief,
self- bitterness, self-resentment, self-unforgiveness, self-retaliation,
self-anger, self-violence, and suicide. These are but a few of the
arms with which unloving spirits attack us.
*Armor of Self-Bitterness – Part 3B-1:
The principality of bitterness, as I have stated, is protected by
unforgiveness, resentment, retaliation, anger, hatred, violence, and
murder. The principality of self-bitterness or unloving spirits is
protected and reinforced by all of Satan's demons but it’s major weapons
are self-pity, self-abuse (see definition under “Definition of ‘Self’),
self-rejection, self- hatred, competition, self-pride,
self-enthronement, and false piety.
Armor of Self-Bitterness Chart (See Complete PDF Version)
Each
of these spirits is more evil than the one before it; once they build a
stronghold in you, unless you get delivered, you and others can be
destroyed. An example would be a person who kills his family members and
then himself.
Principality of Self-Bitterness Explained
- Self-Pity-
Self-pity is the most dangerous of all of the unloving spirits because
it binds us to past demons; it constantly reminds us of how we were hurt
in the past. This binding keeps us from God's future provision; it
binds us to what somebody has done to us or what we've done to
ourselves. Self-pity says nobody really understands us, and even if they
did, they don't really care. Self-pity creates a vicious circle. The
person needs to be loved and use their manipulating techniques to get
someone's attention. Then we offend them enough that they leave us
alone. This increases the person’s self-pity and the cycle repeats
itself. Self-pity is very dangerous, because it binds our freedom with a
life sentence.
- Self-Abuse -
comes in many forms, i.e. obesity or anorexia; sleep deprivation or too
much sleep; lack of exercise or pushing oneself to the brink; denial of
normal sexuality with your spouse or preoccupation with sex; calling
yourself “stupid,” “fat,” “ugly,” “dumb or other names that will demean
and degrade yourself [you are “fearfully and wonderfully made” – Ps. 139:14].
- Self-Rejection -
is where a person rejects them self. They do not like who they are.
This can often lead to self-hate, self-resentment, etc. It is often tied
in with self-unforgiveness, if the person has made mistakes in their
life which they deeply regret. Just as it hurts when others reject us,
it can do just as much damage when we reject ourselves.
- Self-Hatred –
self-hatred is caused by an unloving spirit which is a spirit that
attaches to us and attacks us, seeking to make us feel self-rejected,
unclean and unworthy. It tells us that we don't measure up, that we are
no good. An "unloving spirit" is an evil spirit that masquerades in
us as us. It is the familiar spirit of the parent most like you. An
"unloving spirit" is a spirit of anti- Christ because it contradicts
what God's Word says about you. God says, "We are fearfully and
wonderfully made"; "We are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus unto
good works"; "We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us";
"We always triumph in Jesus name"; "We are more than conquerors through
Him who loved us"; "We are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus..." An
unloving spirit is a lying and deceiving spirit; it is a spirit of
hate, murder and unforgiveness of self. It is a spirit of perfectionism
(pride and legalism), which causes you to be angry at yourself and
depressed when you do not perform as perfectly or look as perfectly as
you think you should. This spirit comes in generationally through the
parent most like the child; the major root to this evil self-hating
spirit is through the lack of discipline. When a child is not properly
disciplined, he does not feel loved; he hates himself; he hates his
parents; he feels guilty; he is taught to live after the flesh; he is
taught that there are no consequences for his bad behavior; he is
taught, he is god, therefore, he has no need for God or fear of God
which turns him away from evil. He feels illegitimate because Hebrews
12:8 says, "But if you are without discipline...then you are
illegitimate children and not sons." Instead of turning to God in his
pain, he turns to other things (food, alcohol, drugs, sex, performance,
work, false personalities, etc.) to cope, comfort himself and to
compensate for his feelings of self-hatred, inadequacy and
worthlessness.
- Competition -
is rooted in self-pride and it tells us that we are not a whole person
unless we win. Competition keeps us from accepting who we are and leave
us unfulfilled and results in bitterness either toward another or our
self.
- Self-Pride - "excessive confidence or glorification in one's self, possessions or nation; the person is arrogant, haughty and conceited,
all of which are opposite of Godly humility. On a spiritual level,
self-pride leads to disregard, disrespect and disobedience to God i.e.
self-centered pride is primarily what transformed the once-righteous
Lucifer into the wicked Satan after he became too impressed with
himself: "I will make myself like the Most High" (Isaiah 14:14 RSV).
On a worldly level, selfish pride very often results in
self-destructive behavior because, while a form of self-delusion, it
isn't necessarily as much an overestimation of one's self as it is a dangerous underestimation of others, hence "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall" (Proverbs 16:18 RSV).
- Self-Enthronement -
Putting ourselves on the throne of our life so that we become the
singular focus of everything that interests us; me, me, me – thinking it
is all me- self, self, self – I believe you get the picture. In
order for Christ to be Lord over our lives, we must give Him permission
to reign and rule in us; give Him every hidden area of our life and ask
Him to become Lord over it. This life is not about us but about us
becoming who God created us to be and do what He created us to do;
knowing these things begin with us accepting Jesus as our personal Lord
and Savior.
- False Piety
- piety means devotion to God, His Word and Biblical religious
practices. It carries the element of loyalty and devotion to parents and
family. False piety is contrary to Godly piety. It sounds like, "Even
though mom abuse me, victimize me, and reject me, since the Bible says
to honor your father and mother, I'll just have to submit, like it or
not." This false piety preaches the stiff upper lip when confronting
ungodly behavior in others. Nowhere in the Bible are we taught to submit
to this kind of evil. False piety is closely related to codependency.
Codependency is really calling evil good. In codependency we are
allowing evil and sinful behavior to continue because we do not love or
respect ourselves. We allow ourselves to be physically, emotionally and
sexually abused because we think that is our lot in life. We believe
that we deserve to be treated in those ways. False piety and codependency produce martyrdom and martyrdom can be true or false.
When we hear ourselves say, "My sufferings allow me to identify with
the world's pain," or "Ungodly people beat and killed the Savior; I
should count it a blessing to be beaten by my evil husband," this is
evil thinking. True martyrs suffer for the sake of the Cross,
not to raise their own self-image or to give them an excuse why they
should do nothing to correct a bad situation. **Forgive
yourself and anyone else who has hurt you so you can uproot the spirits
that make up the self-bitterness principality!**
Results of Self-Bitterness
Satan uses self-bitterness against us. Here, instead of being bitter toward others, we are bitter toward ourselves. Self-bitterness produces an inability to forgive ourselves.
1. Unforgiveness of ourselves leads to self-resentment.
It says, "I can never do anything right. The harder I try the worse
things get. I never have been any good, never will be any good. I'm just
a nobody. I don't like the way I look. Daddy was right. I'll never
amount to anything." Self-talk like this is destructive!
2. Self-resentment leads to self-retaliation. This will cause us to react strongly
and negatively to someone who accuses us. Our negativity results in
their rejection of us, which is what we expected in the first place.
3. In self-anger,
we will find perfectionism, self-accusation, and self- condemnation.
When these three come together, they will trigger anger like a flash
fire. If we are not careful, this anger will spill over onto somebody
else. The evil fruit of this demonic attack is to include others as
victims, not just us.
4. Self-hatred -
we don't get to self-hatred without self-bitterness accusing us. Self-
hatred is the result of a process of working through self-unforgiveness,
self- resentment, self-retaliation and self-anger, each stage being
more dangerous than its predecessor. Self-hatred results from
something that simmers and festers below the surface, often for days,
weeks, months or years.
5. The next stage is self-violence. Self-anger spills over into committing some
type of hurtful act against oneself; such as cutting or mutilating
oneself out of extreme shame or guilt. The ultimate expression of
self-violence is, of course, suicide. DO NOT ENTERTAIN THESE THOUGHTS! To defeat self-murder, we have to break the bond of the unloving spirit and eliminate self-bitterness by choosing to forgive yourself and use the Word to pull down strongholds in your mind.
“I
come against this spirit with the blood of Jesus and command it to go
where Jesus sends it. Father in the name of Jesus, deliver Your people
from these spirits and cover their minds with the blood of Jesus, in
Jesus’ Name, Amen!”
6. Self-murder is an anti-Christ mentality that comes from the armor of an unloving spirit.
When you experience such thoughts, turn them around, saying, "I do
belong here." "God made me. I'm precious to Him." I do belong here! We
must repent for believing the lies of the devil, in the name of Jesus
command his lying spirit to go, command the spirit of death to go, and
then ask the Holy Spirit to heal and make us whole.
*God’s Truth – Part 3C
God
assigns each one of us a function in the His family. Our desire should
be to function as God created us, not as the devil has recreated us. To
be whole and mature, we need to stand beside each other. Occasionally we
might need to carry another person's burden, but our main purpose is to fulfill the function God assigned to us at our creation.
When
Jesus offered us His salvation, He paid the ultimate price. He did this
because He loves us. NOW is the time to accept God's truth.
Choose
TODAY to believe the Lord's promises. Do you really want to be well?
Are tired of the mess the tormentors bring into your life? You must love
yourself as God loves you. You must quit listening to the lies of the
devil!
Satan’s lies emanate from an anti-Christ spirit; they contradict what the Bible says. Repeat with me: "I am
part of the body of Christ. I am important, I am special, I am
valuable." Repeat it a few times. It is what God says about each of us.
Each of us is incredibly important to God.
When we believe all of
the unloving spirits that scream in our heads, we are saying that God
is a liar! I certainly don't want to stand before God and say, "Well,
Lord, I know I'm fearfully and wonderfully made. I know I'm the apple of
your eye (Psalm 17:8). I know you love me with an everlasting love
(Jer. 31:3) but I never did believe it.
What is
the answer to unforgiveness? Forgiveness! We must learn to forgive
others and ourselves. Thus begins the unraveling of the stronghold of
bitterness.
3. Handout: NONE.
4. Pray Against Self-Bitterness: Use Self-Bitterness Affidavit & Prayer from 10-7-14 (these are also enclosed in this session).
5. If you have any questions, email me at drdehooks@abusedwoman.org.
6. Close each
session in prayer; asking God to continue to reveal the areas in you
which needs to healed and the things you need to deal with.
Importance of Forgiveness" Program Agenda – Session 7 Oct 14, 2014 The Self-Bitterness Affidavit - 3C-1
Make
a list of all the bitterness you have had against yourself. We need to
confess and repent before Almighty God for holding onto this bitterness
and believing it, instead of believing Him. The stronghold that
self-bitterness has held in your life will be destroyed, and Satan's
power over you will be legally cancelled. After you have written your
list, pray the “Prayer of Release” (listed below) for each issue on your
list; do not do a “blanket” prayer – praying each issue separate will
cause you to face and deal with each issue one at a time – if it is too
overwhelming for you to do at one time, you can ask someone you trust to
help you by letting them pray the prayer and you repeat it.
(See Complete PDF Version for Affidavit)
Prayer of Release (Self-Bitterness) – Say this prayer – Part 3C-2:
“Dear Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus, and as an act of my free will, I confess, repent, and renounce my (specific sin of self-hatred). I ask You to forgive me for this sin. I purpose and choose to forgive myself for this (specific sin of self-hatred)
from my heart. I release myself from any guilt or shame because of this
self-bitterness. In the name of Jesus, and by the power of His blood, I
cancel Satan’s authority over me because of the self-bitterness of (specific sin of self-hatred). In the name of Jesus, I command this spirit of self-bitterness to go.
Holy
Spirit, I invite You into my heart to heal me of self-bitterness.
Please speak Your words of truth to me about this situation.”
As
Holy Spirit begins to speak to you, write down what He says; so you can
have it later when the enemy tries to come back. After you have prayed
through your list about each situation, command the PRINCIPALITY of self-bitterness to go in the name of Jesus.
Click here for PDF version
Click here for Your Completion Congrats
Abused Woman Ministries, Inc. Importance of Forgiveness
Recovery Program
October 14, 2014
Last Session!
Congratulations
Everyone on your achievement of passing this class!!
Keep moving forward and NEVER GIVE UP!! Always
remember God is for you and NOT against!!
May God continually bless you and keep you,
leading you in all you do!!
Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks
NOTE:
These materials are copyright protected therefore you must request
permission to reproduce any part of this material. To request
permission, please contact Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks: drdehooks@abusedwoman.org.
