People are fallible and limited but
God is infallible and unlimited!! I understand that you want to talk to your
friend, husband, wife, etc. because you want someone to respond back to you but
you can talk to God and He will respond back too!! Man is incapable of
supplying our needs – sustaining us - so when we look to him or her to give us
only what God can, we suffer unnecessarily – it causes falling out with
friends, family, husbands, wives, etc. but most of all it causes us to suffer
emotional distress (headaches, heartaches, depression, physical and mental
illnesses, etc.)!! Therefore, let’s just make up in our minds that we are going
to trust God and turn to Him instead of man!!
Remember, man is NOT our
source; God is our Source!! God is the ONLY One who has the abilities to
fulfill us!! Man is just one instrument God uses to bless us! Don’t depend on
anybody (mother, father, sister, brother, husband, wife, children, etc.)
because they might have good intentions but good intentions cannot get you out
of a tight spot or pay your bills or hold you in the night when you want to be
held – ONLY God can do this – Yes, God can hold you when you want to be
held; He has held me when I was sick and felt all alone and in pain!! As I said
before, you will save yourself sooooooooooooo many hurts, heartaches,
headaches, depressed moments, disappointments, and as the insurance commercial
says, “hair pulling out”! I can tell you this because throughout my life, I can
even say my whole life, all I have done was depended on people, my money, or
material things – I lived for these things!! And what did it get me but more
emotional distressed; seven abusive marriages and used by the people I depended
on! Depending on people caused me to feel rejected, abandoned, and neglected
all over again which I had suffered as a child; each person who hurt me caused
me to have these feelings!! Now, God is teaching me how to depend on Him
and He is healing me from these emotional issues!!
I am not saying all people
deliberately hurt you but some do; even the ones confessing that they are
Christians – they are human! Once we except Christ as our personal Lord and
Savior, we are to allow the Holy Spirit to lead and guide us - we are to be led
by Him, not by our old nature!! I know none of us are perfect but we must
strive to do right; we must ask God to help us in the areas we are weak in and
don’t give in to the old nature – I know that is easier said than done – even
Paul said the things he did not want to do he did but the things he wanted to
do, he did not do – Paul said there was a war going on inside of him – the
flesh (old man) was warring against the spirit man (new man)!! I know how he
felt because the same thing happens to me now; so I am not blaming people for
their behavior but when you know you have a problem, ask God to help you so you
won’t use and hurt people!!
I don’t care how spiritual a person claims
to be that does not mean they will NEVER hurt you because they are human
and have a free will as to whether or not they will allow the Holy Spirit to
led them – to allow God full control of their life or not – that way the old
sinful nature will not be able to lead!!
It is very important for that we ask
God who to connect with because the enemy sends people in our lives to stop the
will of God – this happened to me; the enemy sent the last guy into my life to
totally destroy me (God told me)!! The enemy does not only use marriage
relationships to destroy people but also friendships; any relationship where
people can get close – we need to acknowledge God in ALL our ways so He can
direct our path!!
To stay out of the wrong
relationships, we should seek God first and acknowledge Him before going into
any relationship; this will keep us from going through hurts, rejections,
abuse, and being used by people!! Also we will not fall for the first man or
woman who comes along and say “I love you!” We must allow the gift of
discernment which comes from the Holy Spirit, to operate in us – then we will be
able to recognize the real from the fake; the wolf from the sheep – we will not
believe everyone who say they love us! You can tell people who love you because
they will show you that they have your best interest at hand, they are
concerned about you, and that you are important to them; they will not always
hurt you – talk is cheap and people can say anything out of their mouth that
they don’t mean – DISCERN! DISCERN! DISCERN!!
However, if God tell you about a
person and you go ahead with the relationship, you still can be emotionally
crushed! Therefore, the remedies for the above issues are listening to God and
following His direction!! The bottom line is as I said before, trust in
the Lord with ALL your heart, lean NOT to your own understanding
but acknowledge God in ALL your ways so He can direct your path!! DO
NOT put your trust (confidence) in man’s abilities – don’t even depend on
your own abilities – you have none; ALL things come from God so without
God you can do nothing but with God ALL things are possible!!! God is
your ONLY source and He is the ONLY One who can give you the
inner fulfillment you desire – NOT another person or thing!!!!
May God continually bless you!
Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks
These materials are copyright
protected therefore you must request permission to reproduce any part of them.
To request permission, contact: Dr. Dorothy E. Hooks: dehooks@abusedwoman.org.
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